Secret Still

This post is mostly about music, with a little art thrown in, but first I have to be a little girl and brag about the meal that I cooked last night. I made bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin stuffed with brown-sugar apples, onions, garlic and brie, all roasted in more of the same with a touch of olive oil and butter. I don’t know how many of you out there have actually had an orgasm with your tongue, but had you tasted this mighty creation you would have felt that naughty explosion all along your buds. Tonight I’m making poached pears in spiced caramel sauce. Wolfgang Puck…more like Wolfgang SUCK THIS! Ok, now for music.

First off I’m too lazy to actually compile a links list of all these bands and their myspace pages and the blog posts that I found out about them from etc. etc. So instead I’m just going to give you one link and you can search for each band there and listen to them. The band’s name will be a link to wherever you can purchase their album. Most of these are pop bands because it’s hot outside and that makes me listen to pop due to some unknown genetic imbalance probably inherited from the alcoholic part of my father.

Here is your magical all-inclusive link:

Http://hype.non-standard.net.

And here are the bands:

Bedroom Walls

DAT Politics

Envelopes

Psapp

The Coup

Celebration

The Guillemots

Metallic Falcons

Scanners

Wax Tailor

And that should be enough for you to get through today.

A little art to throw your way, too.

You should definitely go look around Matt Cipov’s page.

The giant burrito and PB&J smoothie (best muthafuckin smoothie on Earth) have greased the wheels of change tween my duodenum and rectum. Ima go read Delicious Magazine and get paid for droppin’ the deuce. Satisfying.

Quote of the day:
“Do you think Lil Kim got some lesbian action in jail?” - Mike Richmond, about Lil Kim getting out of prison.

All I can say about this is Holy Crap on a Crap Cracker!

Click Here.

Now I’m going to have a burrito. After lunch you should prepare for more new music than you can conceivably appreciate in one sitting without either Queluudes or Tussin, and a screwdriver to bite down on. Ready the Dangercart, bitches.

I’m going to have to start packing soon, which means I will be finding more change and old food than I know what to do with. I haven’t had to pack in almost 5 years now, a significantly longer time than most people my age, and I’m halfway dreading it. I hate the fact that I hang on to so much useless shit, and then when I’m packing and getting rid of things I will come up with arguments for why I need to keep that useless shit yet again. Because, seriously, I need that ticket stub from the Roni Size show in 2001, I might not remember that I was there without it. Here’s the thing though: I don’t remember being there; that’s how not important that show was to me. It’s ridiculous that I would keep shit like that, and yet I’m sure I will because I’m a crazy person. If you or anyone you know wants to help me with this problem come sit there while I go through all my shit and when you see something you want just take it. Don’t listen to me if I try to tell you why I should hang on to it, just walk away, man. This offer doesn’t apply to furniture, kithenware, clothing, or anything else that I actually do need in order to live the spectacular life I’ve come to know and feel guilty about inside.

And now here’s this stuff:

The University of Georgia, as of July 1st, will start providing domestic partners of staff/faculty/students with the same “soft benefits” that they provide to spouses. Welcome to the Elks Lodge, Gays and Golddiggers.

If you cook and want to start dabbling in gourmet, or if you’re just tired of making Chicken a la King all the damn time then check out Epicurious.com.

Right now my background music is being provided by Pandora.com, and they’re doing a great job.

Treats for my eyes, ears, and bleeding ulcers are being provided by Wonder Showzen on DVD. You can buy it here.

And, in case you haven’t seen it yet here is the Snakes On A Plane trailer. Gracias to Papa Hassiotis for the link.
Quote of the day:
“I would love to spray that jungle with my own DDT” -Me talking about Beyonce’s ass.

You get nothing right now. Maybe later…if you’re good.

I know, blogosphere, I’m late with today’s posts, and I’m tuly sorry, but you should just get off my damn back. Everytime I try to go out with some friends you are standing at the front door in your housecoat and curlers, chain smoking your Marlboro Reds, and shrieking at me about when I’ll be home. I just don’t need that in my life right now. Why don’t you just go watch Maury and eat some damn Breyers. God.

I love it when people are coming out of a room or getting off an elevator and I catch some guy checking out a girl’s ass in the crowd. Favorite!

Curly, a.k.a. New Frog, has lots of new plants to hang out with because there was a sale on tropicals. He also has free-range crickets wandering around his tank, but by now most of them will have drowned because they are not smart enough to stop breathing water before it kills them. Way to go Mother Nature, another fine creation.

I’ve got new issues of Juxtapoz and Urb to peruse so rest assured there will be plenty of new art and music links coming soon, but for now here are a few things to look at:

The newest development in art on the web is the “Print Site,” which is a kind of site where artists can have prints made of their work to be sold affordably to the general public who can’t afford to put a full size painting in the back of their Rolls Royce. I’m pretty sure that I’ve already mentioned Thumbtack Press, but there is also We Heart Prints and Tiny Showcase. If you bought two of these a month you could cover a wall in a short time, and for less than the price of a painting that size. There’s no reason not to buy them. Go do it now.

Our campus radio station, WUOG, known for its proliferation of “Um’s” and “Uh’s” while on air, is taking a break for the Summer due to the fact that radio hates science. Read about it here.

If you’ve ever wondered what your server was thinking when you went to that nice restaurant in hopes of saving your marriage three years ago, but that bitch Debbie just wanted to talk about herself all night…again, because she has never listened to you and sometimes, goddamit, you just want to poke a knitting needle through her head while she’s asleep….This is what he/she is thinking.

And, because I just thought it was so weird and awkward, here is a video of 250 Japanese couples having sex. Don’t ask me. p.s. The soundtrack is amazing.

Quote of the Day:
“I’d get my dog a vasectomy, because I wouldn’t want him to lose all his ball-like vigor.” -Me

I’m under the weather today, and it’s grey skies which is crap weather to be under, so here are some links to occupy your time and mine:

The Antisocial Gallery is having a photography show featuring a ton of skate photographers. Read about it here, and don’t forget to click on the artist’s names and visit their personal sites.

Wallspankers is a black and white zine (free PDF over the net) that is coming soon to your screen. They’ve set up their contributing artists page in the meantime, and it is an intimidating list. Click here for a giant array of links to artists across the globe.

Damon Soule just keeps getting better. He has a joint show with Mars-1 up at the Lineage Gallery.

There may be more, but then again there may not. I leave you with the quote of the day:
“If you get me drunk enough I will fuck you for three hours and fall asleep inside you” - Kyle Weekend

Yesterday I got a frog that very much resembles this picture. Whether you call it a Big-Eyed, Peacock, or Golden Treefrog, I call this one Curly. He’s sequestered in a 10 gallon tank for a month so I can see if he has any parasites and then he’ll be whisked away to his new jungle home in the big terrarium where he’ll spend his time ignoring my other frog who looks something like this second picture. His name is Harpo (I like the oddballs) and he has just recently started making his frog noises, which sound more like duck noises, and happen all through the night since he is nocturnal. It wakes me up and is fast losing its cuteness. Let’s hope that Harpo and Curly will be friends.

I also got my third letter of recommendation for graduate school today. The professor sealed the envelope and signed the flap so that I couldn’t open it. I held it up to the lamp and read some of the key passages which I will paraphrase for you here with my own comments in italics:

With only five courses in philosophy I do not feel that Brad has sufficient background to start a graduate program in philosophy
It was all I had time to take since the University loves to cram your first two years with requisites and then the next two are filled with major work, allowing for no time at all to dabble in other subjects and see what I might’ve liked. I’m lucky I got to take the ones that I did. And wait, are you writing me a negative letter of recommendation? Because that is an oxymoron, you fucking dolt.

From what he said in my classes I don’t feel that I am able to give an evaluation of whether or not Brad should be allowed to study here.
Are you fucking kidding me? You just gave an evaluation in that previous sentence! And why on Earth would you agree to write the letter if you don’t think you know enough about me to write a fuking letter?! Jesus H. Pole-Smoking Christ!

Having just seen those two phrases and a couple of others I can tell that this letter wouldn’t favorably further my application into grad school. I’m going to hang onto it, but unless my GRE score is amazing I don’t think I’m going to use it. Maybe it’s time to re-vamp my life plans. Or maybe I should just talk to a teacher that knows me better.

Let’s cover the daily link round-up to take my mind off of…things….poo related things….in my bowels

I’m not sure I accept the veracity of this video. I’m calling bullshit.

The BCC interviews Willard Wiggan to talk about his very tiny outsider art.

The Cool Hunter has a good article on all the Art Hotels in the world.

Oksana Badrak makes digital dreams come true. Her work is also available from the always affordable Thumbtack Press.

That is that.

Once again I am stuck here at the front desk with a bowel full of makings ready to find their own way in the world. No one will be here for another hour and a half. I’m just gonna start bringing a bucket.

The poop was once the delicious meal that I cooked last night consisting of:

Chicken and Prosciutto and Aged-Mozzarella Tortellini in a Spinach and Oregano Parmesan Cream Sauce

and a Spring Mix salad w/ grapes, walnuts, and crumbled goat cheese topped with a Honey Balsamic vinaigrette made by the Girl.

And Goddamn was it ever delicious. It only took 20 minutes or so to make. I’m gonna get my own Food Network show and travel the world tasting exotic flavors and pooping them back out in exotic (read gross and scary) bathrooms.

If you come over I will cook for you. Starting now.

Just a little peek into my life.

What I am reading:
Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain who is the Hunter S. of the toque-wearing world.

Larousse Gastronomique by Prosper Montagne, which is The Culinary Dictionary.

The Joy of Cooking by Irma Rombauer.

Retail in Detail by Ronald Bond.

and Hell’s Angels by Hunter S. Thompson.

The Bourdain book inspired the cooking books; the retail book I’m reading because I’ll need to; and the Hell’s Angels is just because. Or maybe I’m planning on opening a retail business that caters to bikers and chefs. Who knows?

What I’m listening to:

This.

What I’m watching:

Well, not at this very moment, but we’ve (the girl and I) been working our way through Scrubs: Season 3.

What I’m feeling:

Sweaty. I live in Georgia and it’s Summer so I’m feeling sweaty. I woke up sticky and I’ll go to bed drunk and sticky, because it’s Friday and the first day of Athfest, my favorite time of year.

We’ll wander around tonight drinking at every bar we cross, watching all our favorite local bands, get into trouble somehow, and just generally live like Vikings for the next couple of days.

Oh, and coming soon to this fine establishment, probably later today or tomorrow if I start drinking early, “Quote of the Day.” Quote of the Day is just what it sounds like, a certain turn of phrase that caught my ear or sphincter as it fell from the lips of the degenerates that make up our motley crew of friends. Warning: Quote of the Day is not safe for anyone who doesn’t think that stock footage of animal slaughter narrated by retards is funny. Just a heads up.

Time to clean my desk.