I have a confession to make. I..am an addict. Is it drugs? Is it sex? Is it shopping, candy, exercise, porn? No. Well, yes to the porn, but everyone is these days. No, what I’m really addicted to is…Movie Trailers.
I know, I know, it’s so sad. It’s not even good enough to warrant a support group in a day and age where Questioning is considered a sexual orientation. But it’s true nonetheless; I am addicted to movie trailers. I can literally watch them for longer than the duration of an actual movie. It’s a sick thing with me.
In my defense, they are pretty great. They’re like short stories whereas movies themselves are more like novels. I like novels, I read two or three a week (it’s not an addiction its more of a sedative for an overactive mind), but short stories always pack more punch. They hit you hard and fast and deliver twists that you never would have seen coming because you never had time to consider them. A novel gives too much room to wander, too much space between peaks to ruminate on what might happen next. I like that in some cases, I really do, but for the most part it just gives me a chance to spoil the surprise for myself. Movie trailers, like short stories, have to deliver a message fast and hard. They are edited down to a sliver of actual screen time, but they still manage to tell you exactly what the film will be about, what its message will be. Not the whole message of course, and there’s no personal reflection leading to emotional involvement in the lives of the characters, but who needs that all the time? I certainly don’t.
A movie asks too much of me for not enough return most of the time. They are so boiled down to basic formulas that 15 minutes in you know where everything will end up at the end of the two hours. The characters in a good movie are developed and you can believe that they really are an alcoholic, or a filander with a heart of gold, or a man that turns into a dog, but that isn’t enough. I need a plot to keep going every minute in a way that I wasn’t expecting. My life is predictable and I don’t watch movies as an extension of my life. They’re an escape, a diversion, a vacation, from whatever it is that I’m bored with at the time. I still love sitting outside and taking baths and reading and pretty much everything else in my day-to-day, sometimes I just need to see something new and imaginary and fascinating that I didn’t have to create with my own mind. My own mind gets very tired after a long day of creating and it just wishes that when it came home the floor would already be swept and the dishes washed, ya know?
Movie trailers give me all the thrill of something new, without any of the long-term commitment that a movie asks for. To use another analogy that I’ve apparently already started with that previous sentence: it’s the difference between a monogamous, long-term relationship and a bunch of one night stands. I love being in my relationship now, and there are certainly movies that I will always and forever commit my time to even after seeing them about a thousand times (surprisingly Groundhog Day is one), but having a bunch of one night stands was fun in an empty way when I hadn’t found someone to be with permanently. And it was alright that they were empty because I wasn’t using them to fill any void. It was just sex. They’re just trailers. They don’t have to do anything but distract me, so they can leave out all the introspection and insight.
Even better, and I know this is sort of a contradiction of what I said a moment ago, are the ones that give me just enough of a hint of the plot to make me wonder what might actually happen in the movie. It’s fine for them to do this because a) I don’t think about it for very long and b) it makes me want to go see the movie, which is what they’re designed to do. I know that’s what trailers are for, and that makes me feel superior to them, so when one of them subverts my superior standing and actually makes me wonder enough to want to see the movie I feel like that’s a really good trailer. Oh, you got me, trailer, you devlish little rascal, you. It’s that sort of feeling. And combined with being entertained that is a lethal combination. That is my Speedball.
So yes, I am an addict, and I’m fine with that. It’s not like it’s interfering with my job or anything. The kids don’t know about it. And I can quit anytime I want.
If you’re interested in starting up a good habit one of the best sources is the Apple Trailers site. They list them in a number of ways and offer a lot of size options for your varying connection speeds. Just make sure you have Quicktime.
A few that I recommend for your viewing pleasure are:
The Departed
Renaissance
The Fountain
Running with Scissors
Half-Nelson
and Little Miss Sunshine
All of these are trailers for films that I would actually go out and pay for if I wasn’t broke all the time. That makes them interesting trailers with a good payoff. The sweet connection. Go get your fix.
It’s going on being a pretty lame week so far with the party as the light at the end of the tunnel. Here are the things that are keeping my spirits stable if not up.
