Secret Still

I think the vacation-ness is out of my system. My time senses are still a little wonky but they’re better. I can’t believe there are people that travel all the time for their jobs; a subset of people that relativity is effecting much more than the rest of humankind. Motherfuckers must be crazy.

To answer your question, I went to:
Alameda, Oakland, San Francisco, Santa Cruz, Cotati, Santa Rosa, Petaluma, Sebastopol, all along HWY 1, and everywhere in between. We travelled a lot and saw whales and sea lions and hippies and surfers and douchebags and thugs and redwoods and vineyards and just a lot of stuff all over the place. Everything there seems to be built on top of everything else, life surrounding itself for security, something to quiet the desperation that seemed to be on all the faces. From the sky at night it all just looks like an electric antfarm that beats and pulses like a giant heart. All the people there rushed through their patterns of life to keep the machine pumping, burnt out on being constantly. It’s beautiful there and maybe thats what makes everyone try to prove themselves so much, they need to justify living in a place that’s too good for them. I met people who were crazy and people who were made crazy by the city, and who can blame them with the screeching, clattering mouth of progress to feed everyday. The difference between the West Coast and The South is that the West Coast needs a reason for being and The South doesn’t need to answer those kinds of questions. Neither way is better and neither way joins up at the edges. Good thing the Midwest is there to buffer each with a solid work ethic and fear of change.

I did learn one very important fact about California: California hates skateboarders. There was almost nowhere for me to skate without a sign or knobs or something trying to make it impossible. And yet there’s more skaters there than anywhere else in the world. Shows you how much we care, I guess. Which is to say not at all.

Let’s get the links out of the way so I can go eat some more redmeat to counteract the all vegetarian diet I had to suffer through last week. Is redmeat one word? It damn well should be.

If you take a bunch of designers and ask them to redesign the traditional table setting you should expect to get some interesting results.

I had no idea that Mickey Avalon was a white, sex-obsessed, rapper. I just thought he was some dude who used to be in the New York Dolls. Color me stupid.

The website design alone should put Section Seven above the rest in the design world, but their work pushes them out of the mortal realm and into something higher, something super.

If you didn’t know about it already, Threadless is having their annual $10 holiday sale. A $10 t-shirt aint bad and now you can get some designs on hoodies. Keep up the good work.

My Plastic Heart. It sure is.

Prepare to be sort of depressed and sort of elated after watching this. It’s a big file so prepare to wait a while as well.

Dan Krall does it like no one else. I think it’s working for him.

Bringing a new dimension to graffiti: Soundbombs. Apply for yours today.

Check out the Gary Baseman cards at Kid Robot. Just one of the trillions of awesome things they have to sell you.

I gotta admit, even if they are a little bit Hot Topic, these ties are great.

A physicist/science fiction writer is going to try and prove Retrocausality. Break that down and determine what the word means. Now pick your jaw up. I love his quote, and it’s in every article about the experiment, “It doesn’t seem like it should work, but no one can say why it won’t.” Science for the hell of it. My favorite kind.

Berfday props to Dick Delicious and The Greek. It occurs to me that is the perfect name for a show where two pimps become vigilantes in order to clean up the streets. I’ll see you two at The Skatening.

Quick show of hands, how many people want us to have a Christmas party at the Dangerous House? The question/suggestion has been posed by a few people so far. Let me know how you feel, populus.

See you in the funny papers.

We’re leaving tomorrow for California, and if I’m lucky we’ll never have to come back. I haven’t packed yet, but I’m male so it takes me about 10 minutes, five of which are spent looking for the mate for my argyle sock. Ma and Pa are coming to pick up the Granddog today, and I’m sure he’ll be so nervous about it that he’ll crap on their floor and I’ll never hear the end of it. My mom does really like taking care of things, though. She got hooked on it back in the 80’s and she’s never been able to kick the habit.

I’m making Celeriac Bisque for Thanksgiving. You know my steez.

I won’t be blogging while we’re in the Big Avocado, but I’ll be taking notes and pictures to delight the children and revolt the grown-ups. And hopefully my tattoo will be healed enough to photograph before the week is out. It’s in the itchy, snakeskin phase right now. Don’t scratch.

So until next Tuesday:

Galactus is coming, and if anyone had listened to Jeremiah and I when we started the Church of Galactus then there might be hope of salvation. As it stands we’re all screwed. Thanks a lot non-believers.

I am seriously pissed that no one ever told me that something like this existed. I’m going to infiltrate this culture and become its king.

Standard Motion has some affordable and kickass art in their limited edition prints section.

Some new stuff up at Tiny Vices.

Best Alarm Clock Ever!!!

Art Head SF may be the next addition to the sidebar. If they play their cards right and put out that is.

For some reason when I watch this movie a muscle in my arm twitches. (QT direct link)

Adieu, little cowpokes. Manifest Destiny calls.

I’m having myself a little film noir festival at work today since it’s gloomy and cold outside. I’m watching the following movies:

The Big Sleep
Bob le Flambeur
Rififi, which IMDB tells me is being remade with Al Pacino. I’ll be damned.
The Shanghai Cobra
The Glass Key
This Gun For Hire
And I also have Thunderbolt and Lightfoot which isn’t noir but is a pretty decent caper film.

And for some reason all these movies just make me want to watch the first Harry Potter movie. MIt’s kind of a dark film I guess, and there is definitely a detective aspect. Magic Noir.

Power Force Fighting Team, link up!!

The other day Jeremiah was looking online for some new shoes and most of the ones he chose were weak by mine and Jason’s standards. Part of the problem is that it’s hard to find all those crazy special edition shoes and whatnot if you don’t live in a metropolitan area. Fortunately the shoe boutique Classic Kicks now has its catalog online. Say hello to better living, feet.

And speaking of rad shoes that Jeremiah should get me for Christmas, Puma is releasing a lot of new models on the 18th, one of which is the amazing Yutori Kimono shoe. Yes, please. Link via High Snobiety.

If you ever need a badass stencil and I’m sure you will then your source is but one click away, nizzles. Stencil1 has the dope.

And when you’ve terrorized walls enough and you’re ready to extend your creative outlet to greater things why not try out Now You Know. Think of it as an anarchists cookbook for skeezing around.

Do you live in Miami? Chances are you don’t. But you’ll wish you did when you realize that you are going to miss out on Art Basel. That shit’ll pretty much rape your mind anyway. Maybe it’s better you’re not going.

Coming soon to Atlanta with a limited edition resin cast bust of their Chetrooper image: Urban Medium. It’s closer than Miami and I still won’t be there.

In another gallery across the country Mr.’s Robert “Farmer Bob” Hardgrave and Warren Dykeman had a show together. Peep the sights, live the dream.

And a little ways away from that show another, more populated show was taking place. The All Star Hustlaz 2 show had more names than I could shake a stick at, and I am a 23rd level stick shaker with Gloves of Celerity and a Stick of Naming.

Poch is a legend. A French legend. That makes him romantic.

I leave you with a video that should absolutely blow your mind right outcha dome. Mine landed on some TPS reports.

Since most of my time in Savannah is blurry and hard to pin down I have decided to make you all a little list of events that stood out during the weekend.

Things To, In, and From Savannah; Postscript to Gomorrah

1. In a span of 15 seconds I hit both a cat and a bat with my truck. Verbal response: Fuck. What the..FUCK! Nature is fucked up.

2. Drank in the street while looking at a pit dug 10 stories down into the ground. Savannah is 30 feet above sea level. Construction had been halted because they realized their mistake.

3. Look up to see a man peeing on a woman’s leg while woman throws up in a potted plant.

4. Met drug dealer named D. at a party in a project. There was actually a bouncer at this house party. He was sitting in a Hello Kitty lawn chair.

5. Spent all day in a tattoo shop. Got to watch four new Navy recruits get tattoos and then crumble under the stress of not being able to pay for them when their credit cards got declined. They called their mothers. Is this what they’ll do in combat?

6. Listened to friend talk about how this dude Robbie had gotten pistol whipped because he was trying to buy drugs in The Craw (another project).

7. 45 minutes later: Driven to The Craw (short for Yamacraw) after dark by same friend to buy drugs from dealer named Smoke. Forced to listen to Smoke’s rap album. Wish I could get pistol whipped.

8. Take drugs to pizza place and wait while friend makes pizzas. Give one pizza to old crackhead and his wife/whore in excahnge for more drugs. Chit chat about family.

9. Get tattooed by a skinhead while listening to Skrewdriver until 2 am.

10. Want nothing but sleep. Friends and I sit in bar until 3. Give drunk guy a lift to his car which is at another guy’s house so I can get my bag out of it (don’t ask how it got there). Drunk guy calls us brothers so much I start to believe we are actually related.

11. Tattooed again in the morning and plan to leave but have to wait four hours because Friend 2 has overslept for work, in fact yelling at all his family members while they were trying to wake him, because he hasn’t slept in 3 days and was actually falling asleep standing up while talking to me. Nap in truck.

12. Get Wendy’s on the drive home. Eat all the fries and half the chicken sandwich when short but incredibly fat black woman driving a Datsun in front of me, wearing giant church hat, slams on her brakes to get out and, for some reason unknown to me, remove her car aerial. I throw the other half of my sandwich at her and it lands on her ass then I speed off. Never heard from her again.

13. Home. More drugs. Simpsons. Warmth. Sleep.

14. With last waking breath vow to visit only to have tattoo finished and tell no one that I’m in town.

So as you can see it was a delightful and educational experience. I have a lot of links and then I’ll post a picture of my tattoo eventhough it’s looking pretty scabby right now.

We’ll start with a few recaps of shows that opened on various coasts in various galleries.

The first is the restrospective show of artist Ron Mueck at the Brooklyn Museum. Supertouch has the lowdown.

Next is the solo show for Camille Rose Garcia. If you haven’t seen her work then your eyes haven’t lived. She’s going places. Juxtapoz has the pictures to prove it.

Then there was the group Halloween show aptly titled Mommy Mommy! There’s An Artist Under My Bed.

And last is the previously mentioned solo show by Greg “Craola” Simkins, and once again Juxtapoz was on the scene.

Now a few art related things that aren’t gallery related at the moment.

If you live in England, which none of you do according to site meter, then you might get a chance to see on of the Little People on the street somewhere. They’re garnering a lot of press lately. Did you like the way I used garner? Do you think I could say Jennifer Garner has garnered favorable reviews for her character in Alias?

Up next is the work of Tra Selhtrow who is probably Irish with a last name like that.

Billing itself as the Art of Life, new fashion company Triko is doing some pretty innovative stuff with the average hooded sweatshirt.

Adobe has created an interesting way of demonstrating the efficiency of their new suite of photoshop products. Visit Creative Mind to see what I mean.

Last I leave you with a couple of good videos.

The first is the trailer for a new movie from the people who brought you The Aristocrats. A film called FUCK. ‘Bout time.

And finally, a video from a radio show with comedian Aries Spears who can apparently rap like anyone. Does anyone else think it’s weird that there are all these videos from radio shows floating around? Next will be imageless television.

As it turns out it’s extremely difficult to take a good picture of your own upper left arm so I’ll have to wait until someone else can before I post a picture of the tattoo. Sorry buckaroos.

I was fine until an hour ago and now all of a sudden I feel like utter shit. Thanks, immune system, for nothing.

In lieu of my impending vomiting I’m going to just give you the links with a bare bones description and then tomorrow I will blog about Savannah and post a picture of the tattoo. Ready? O-K!

Badassssssss new video from the dynamic duo Gnarls Barkley featuring Mr. Mario Van Peebles. He really rocks that cape well.

Something else to add to my Christmas list are these skull cufflinks. They’re actually part of a skull package that includes dish towels and a tie. Fuckin sweet, bitch.

Some exclusive pictures of the Slash x Slick show Rust in Peace curated by Supertouch.

Lasse Gjertsen. Amateur. Brilliant.

Kuksi’s work is fuckin EPIC. And then some.

I have to go hurl. Le riche vivre.

Nick Swardson was a funny man as to be expected. I didn’t even mind that a lot of the material was old. The two guys that opened for him told similar jokes, some of them virtually identical. You’d think that comedians travelling across the country together would at some point discuss the material they were going to use. Shoddy, just shoddy.

I think shoddy is a word I’m going to start using a lot more. Also the phrase “huge cans” is gonna be getting a lot more time in my lexicon.

I still don’t know what I’d like to get as a tattoo, but I’m at least closer than I was yesterday. I’ll post some pictures at the end for you all to rate, and I’ll attach my comments to them. For now let’s do the link dump.

It’s a short one today, because I’m leaving for Savannah at 2:30:

You might remember him from Spumco, and you might not know what the hell I’m talking about, but either way Shane Glines is still making his signature style of radness.

Chris Appelhans works for Pixar so you know his personal portfolio is gonna be chock full of zaz. I think I like his work more than anyone I’ve seen in a while. He really understands the principles of animation and character mood.

Tagger Momo has tagged the entire width of Manhattan. You can see how here.

There is a really great articel/interview with Buff Monster over at Archinect.

Whenever someone comes up with a cause with a name along the lines of Jog For Cancer or Pie Eating For Cancer it always makes me think immediately that they are doing these things on behalf of the cancer. Like there is a tumor somewhere that is crossing its fingers that Harold Wortis of Masapequa can eat 20 cherry pies. Am I the only one who thinks like this? Either way there is a new group in town: Skate 4 Cancer. Shreddin’ for a cause.

My last gift to you is a video from Nike that can only be described as The Fucking Jam. Cosplay.

Ok, here are the pictures of things I’d like to have tattooed on me:

The robot is my first choice, and then the Sam Flores animal people, and then the the comic strip (probably across my back shoulders). I have been wanting the skeletal Virgin de Guadalupe for a long time but I don’t think it can be done in three hours no matter how good the artist. Let me know what you think, readers.

p.s. Anyone want to go to Savannah? Tattoos and drugs and fun? It’s gonna be a lonely ride otherwise.

I have a little less than 24 hours to decide what I want my next tattoo to be. It’s gotta be a three hour tattoo so nothing too complicated. I am open to suggestions, internets.

I had the greatest cookies of all time this morning. They were chocolate cookies with chips of toffee, and they tasted like a rainbow fucked a unicorn in my mouth. I almost wanted to smash my face into them so that they could become a part of me permanently. I feel a little emptier now that they are gone. I don’t think that was a poop joke, but I may be wrong.

Just a few things today. I haven’t had much time to scour the internet with work and tattoos taking up most of my day.

There are some pretty nice shirt designs at Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction.

Kookie and cute are two words that I would use to describe The Brain Box. Weird is another. Waffles is one I would consider.

Click the link and then click the video in the top-right corner. Pretty sweet.

Someone is trying to tell you something. Written on the City.

Read this and tell me if it wouldn’t be possible to just intercept the key to the code rather than trying to decrypt it. Quantum encryption.

I like the style of this flick. Missing Pages Trailer.

As we speak I’m corresponding to find out the recipe for the cookies. I’m gonna bake my ass off.

Tonight we go to see Nick Swardson. It may blow or it may blow me away. Either way I’m cooking chicken bacon alfredo tonight. Ding dang dong.

Jeremiah’s new nickname is Firedance. He’s named after a miniature donkey. You can almost feel the rightness of it through your monitors, can’t you?

Today is all about brevity so I’m just going with one word descriptions, and then I’m going back to watching Animaniacs.

Everything is arranged by category:

MUSIC

Edgy

Haunting

Badass

ART

Skills

Idolized

SCIENCE/POLITICS

Superlative

Genius

Amen

And that’s all you get.

I had a dream last night in which I was having a big party at my house (actually my Grandma’s house). I was drinking heavily, which I don’t do, and then I had a giant cup of coffee, which I quit drinking a while ago in real life, and the whole time I was smoking cigarettes like it was going out of style. I quit smoking a couple of months ago. It was a dream all about all the things that I never do anymore. Either my mind/body miss all the terrible things I used to do or it was a scheme to try and show just how much better things are. Either way point taken and ignored.

I also kicked some dude out of the party for leaving the door open and letting in the cold air. I called him a Dickhole.

Let’s get the ball rolling with a new music video for your digestion. The video is for a song by The Softlightes called Heart Made of Sound. It’s a good song and a great video.

Past post subject Andy Kehoe has put up some new work on his site. Beastly.

Here are a bunch of photos from the David Choe show Frice that just opened.

His name sounds a little like David Choe so I put him next. Diem Chau makes great paintings and also carves people out of crayons.

And the third in our triumvirate of Asian artists today, Gwon Osang makes sculptures, paper sculptures, awesome sculptures.

Clotheurs (is that even a word?) Invicid have their new line up and it is that fire, son. It’s that Kryptonite.

On a more serious and non-art-related tip you should all try and be a part of the Polling Place Photo Project it could save your vote.

Even more serious than that is dolphin with feet. I love how when scientists find something like this their explanation is always “it must be a throwback to some previous incarnation of the species” and never “clearly dolphins are evolving.” Most of modern science believes in evolution but only to the point that it happened, not that it’s still happening. Where does that bias come from? Ever since we got here evolution has just stopped? What a pompous species we are.

And finally, on the most serious note of all, I give you Dickorations. And surprisingly it is safe for work. Unless you work at BYU.

I’m growing a beard for Movember rather than a mustache. It’s already progressing pretty well, but it’s at that intermediate stage where it just makes me look unclean. I’m very clean, America, I just wanted you to know that. Mom, I’m wearing clean underwear.

When we were having our staff meeting this morning I looked out the window the see a two engine aircraft trailing smoke in the distance. It flew out of sight eventually and I forgot about it. A little while later I saw smoke coming from over the horizon. Crap.

Today is gonna be all about some art. Prepare for art, citizens.

We’ll start off with an interview, the first in a new series from Gallery 1988, that features Greg “Craola” Simpkins as the interviewee and Thomas Han as the interviewer. Craola is one of the best artists in the business today, despite the fact that he’s never had his own solo show (soon to change). And as much as I love Han’s work he’s just not a very interesting guy. We wouldn’t be friends or anything.

Here are some photos from Vinyl Killers 4. If I can find enough crap records this may be what everyone gets for Christmas.

The Little Chimp Society has an interview with Bob Dob. Short but suite.

I had never heard of Andrei Buzikov until today, but his work is top choice.

Read about Full Coverage here and see all the amazing photos here. Probably the best tattoos I’ve ever seen outside of Horiyoshi III’s work.

I wasn’t going to post about Christopher Wilson’s photography, but it’s all over the place today so I’ll jump on the bandwagon.

Beautiful Decay has their 38th issue of Anthology up. Short but sweat.

Phase Collective has their new issue out, its theme is community and it is awash in awesome. Peep it.

And that’s all for now because I must eat my ham and swiss sandwich. Then I continue my study of graffiti. Doing my job is optional.