Secret Still

In case you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be one of the many people held prisoner in secret camps and tortured by our great country for crimes they never committed, now you can find out. Mohamed Farag Ahmad Bashmilah has spoken about the variety of ways that he was physically and psychologically tortured while a captive of the CIA. If I could find a way to vomit on the President I would. You hear that, Secret Service? Bullets aren’t the only projectile you’ve got to be wary of, now you’ve got to be constantly vigilant for projectile vomit. If you need a good headshot for whatever file you have to open on me, just let me know. I’ve got some hilarious polaroids. I don’t know if I will ever not be disgusted by our country again.

Inside the CIA’s notorious “black sites”

1) Cycle. I thought this was going to be a lot more cheerful than it was. That’s what I get for assuming that all animation is playful. I apologize for the lapse.

2) Circle Squared. Damn hell awesome!

3) Juno opening credits. How is it that Jason Bateman is in all the coolest movies now? You should also see him in Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, which made my fucking day. And guess what? He’s hilarious in person, too.

I came across Reilly Stroope during one of my most coveted and prolonged activities: not working at work. His badass Bruce Willis-esque Santa seems to me to be just what the stale holiday season needs to reinvigorate the spirit. Are you gonna tell Santa that you don’t really celebrate when he’s got a knife at your throat? It would at least cut down on bad list kids if they thought Kris Kringle was going to slip into their rooms at night and quietly snap their necks with his bare hands. Stroope has a bevy of other great illustrations and a pretty killer sketch section as well. You can get the Killer Santa card and others from here

Reilly Stroope

Oh so many today. Strap in and feel the G’s.

1) Phillipe Starck on the Kindle Reader. It’s almost too easy to trash the Kindle.

2) Disney’s house of the future Part 1 and Part 2.

3) B-52’s vids circa 1978. Current and past Athens residents will probably dig this. I wonder if Love Tractor opened for them at this show.

4) The Bird and the Bee - Polite Dance Song. Awkward and Awesome both start with Aw.

5) Bush Family Dogs Become Park Ranger. You have got to be fucking kidding me. Was this shot on a VHS camcorder? I feel dirty.

6) Guitar Powers Vibrator. NotCot hooked up the new Vox amPlug to an electric and then plugged vibrators into it. Of course, who wouldn’t do that? The guitar then controls the vibrators. And musicians finally find a way to steal that last 5% of women from the rest of us.

7) Live Christmas card powered by mice. Their names are Cheese and Biscuit.

If you’ve ever wanted to see what the world looks like to a color blind person there is a great post on Critique Wall. My dad is red/green color blind so this is pretty enlightening. My uncle has a much rarer form of complete color blindness, can’t see any colors at all.

Color Blindness

1) Suicycle. It’s good that it’s a cycle because I could watch it over and over again.

2) Fix Push. This is funny to me and maybe one other person that reads this blog.

3) Neil Gaiman helps a guy propose. This guy in the Philippines got Neil Gaiman to help him propose to his girlfriend at a book signing. Neil signed: To Maui, Will you marry Jason? Neil mostly just sits there and looks bemused.

4) The Sunshine Makers. So what I get from this is: Sunshine turns you gay. This message brought to you by Borden’s.

5) Hugh. Ooooh. Ahhhhh. The French speaking Native American’s is a little weird though.

6) Beautiful Losers Trailer. Hurry up and release the film already.

Hey, congratulations, America! Our new passport looks like those ridiculously patriotic checks that your Republican uncle sends you for your birthday. Jesus, why not just put ponies and gamboling otters on the damn thing. I would actually prefer that in a lot of ways. No, in every way.

The new American Passport

MPK Co. has created tiny, light-emitting, glass spheres that last up to 12 years. They’re filled with a radioactive gas, but the radiation doesn’t penetrate the glass walls of the spheres. It’s not effected by heat or cold, and is 5,000lbs crush resistant. Cost to light up an 8.5 x 11 piece of plastic: .35 cents.

Litroenergy profile

1) Whopper Freakout. Burger King once again tries their hand at a viral video. It made me want a Whopper, but only because I’m hungry. It also made me want Wendy’s. I will never want McDonald’s. I found a vertebrae in my Chicken McNuggets once. Game over, McAssholes. Also, I can’t believe that people care this much about a fucking sandwich.

2) In Natura (coitus bizzarus). Yeah, because who hasn’t seen that like a million times.

British graphic designer Mike Lemanski kills it on the typography tip.