Thus Begins 10 Days of Stupid

My official vacation for the year starts tomorrow, so you will have to do without me for a while. Don’t sweat. I’ll be back before you know it, and the three of you will have more to stare at than the cold, boring bars of your cells. Just keep your head down and do your time while I’m out snorting blow from the various stripper crevices. I’ll send you a postcard with a picture of me and Lindsay Lohan doing the Lindy Hop on America’s grave. This vacation is mostly just a trip back home to see the progenitors and the shiftless layabouts that I hold as friends. You can’t go home again? That’s true, not after the fire I started before I left. I doubt there’s much left to go home to. Back to a triple digit pollen count, air like soup, and a pre-New Deal attitude towards race and sexual preference. Back to the land where Jesus is King with his wife Dairy Queen. Does Manifest Destiny work in reverse?

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June 19th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
hey, I’m not a jailbird
June 19th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
all you do is watch porn and try to stab people, so you’re as good as.
June 20th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
who told you that?
June 22nd, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Oh, sure. Visit the parents the week before I and your nephew are actually down there.
Btw, sending you some traffic. So if your blog is suddenly flooded with comments from freaky people, they’re probably friends of mine.
June 24th, 2008 at 10:15 am
it wasn’t me.
July 1st, 2008 at 9:20 am
Of course everyone decides to comment when I’m not here.
Freaky people = more of the same I’m afraid.
Matt = The one who told me.