Secret Still

I’m stuck at a lesser workstation in the building so today’s post won’t be fancy, just a set of links. I’ve got to go deal with a an ebay auction where I won a bike for $40 and the dude is trying to charge me $160 shipping. Not so fast, Assbag. You’re dealing with the non-retarded here. But nice try.

Tommii Lim makes good art.

53 o’s make weird videos. Check out Body Magic. Jill, Ashley, I think you’ve found your Nirvana.

RGB Studio is keepin it raw.

Owl Movement has some new shirts to cop.

And The Onion now comes in Video format.

I like that I can spell Hannukah any way that I want to and it’s still right.

Speaking of the holidays, I was talking with C-money yesterday about how I was very angry with Christmas this year. How it feels like everyone everywhere is celebrating Christmas and since I’m not I’m doing something wrong. He didn’t understand what I was trying to say and it’s because I was trying to convey the wrong thing. I don’t feel like I’m wrong for not be a Christian celebrating Christmas, I feel invalid. I feel like I don’t matter at all to this country because I’m not Christian. What do I mean though? Sad as it is to say it mostly boils down to the media and marketing. I feel invalid because no one is trying to sell me anything with clever shows and ad tie-ins, or Hannukah special sales, or anything like that. In the Holiday parade here in Athens every float, even the city government floats, had some mention of Jesus as the light of the world etc. Even solid waste management had banners about Christ the Lord. I heard float-riders shout Merry Christmas about a hundred times, and there were even some Happy Kwanzas in there. No one at all said anything about Hannukah. That was the first point where it started to get under my skin a little. And I realize that I live in The South, which isn’t widely known for it’s large population of jews, but that just magnifies the problem rather than allaying any of my feelings. I feel invalid in the society in which I live because I’m not a Christian. And what’s worse is that the media perpetuates this by only selling to Christians, which makes it seem like there are pretty much only Christians in the country. Our leaders are shaped by the media as much as we are, and so you have a media-drenched society that is being given the false idea that “we’re all just a bunch of happy Christians here”, causing the other religions to be ignored out of hand. I’m sorry we’re not a good enough market, America, and I’m sorry that in some twisted way that gets to me, but mostly I think what I am really feeling is disgusted and tired of everything that we have become. God Bless America, my home sweet home.

I’ve got a tone of links to shove down your gullets today, and hopefully some of them will help you get through the holidays with a little less of a vacant stare. We’ll be changing format in ‘07. Nothing huge, but I just wanted to warn you in case you’re autistic and that sort of thing makes you start screaming uncontrollably and butting your head against the wall. Insulted…..Autistic….People. Check. Let’s burn this motherfucker down.

You know what I was saying about Christianity? Well, I would convert if all this was real.

When you get bored and your family won’t leave you alone about what you’re doing with your life and how it’s buying you a corner lot in hell, why not call on one of many Gods. Many.

Possibly the most kickass kitchen I have ever witnessed. And yes I realize how gay that sounds. Found via CubeMe which is possibly even more kickass. I have to wait and see what the test results tell me.

Why did no one tell me about this?! Samuel L. Jackson is the new Christopher Walken. Christopher Walken is the new black.

I don’t know if you know this or not, but Adam Cruickshank knows how to design some shit.

New from Adobe: Kuler. It sounds rad, and I would love to tell you more about it, but my computer doesn’t have the latest flash player and I don’t have admin access. Eat a dick, tech support.

Killer designer, Psyop, has skills to make your mouth water.

Oh, Wow. I mean…wow.

And almost as cool, Hello, World!. See how it’s done here.

I leave you with a special internet gift. I present to you Kiana in all her glory. It’s great what you come across on the interwebs some days.

I’m thinking about hooking up a Flickr account. Should I do it. I like their lightbox web apps. It would make it a lot easier to put pictures up for your visual enjoyment. We’ll see once things start back up.

I leave tomorrow for the long journey to Lousiana where I will have no internet access. But don’t worry I’ll be keeping a notebook so you won’t have to miss a minute of the delightfully off-color and wholly racist statements my family will make. Plus, new on this visit: All My Tattoos! It’s gonna be a great show.

What do the Raelians celebrate at this time of year? Well Happy Whateverthatis, America, from me and the Raelians.

I’ve been working on designing everyone’s Christmas presents for this year, and I’ll continue doing so for the rest of the week. If I can manage to do one a day I think that’s a pretty good average. You’ll all have to be patient with me since I’m creating some real one-of-a-kind shit for your various domiciles. Plus there’s cookies to bake. Everyone should get their presents before the year is out, but if you don’t then don’t think I’ve forgotten you. Although I probably have. I don’t know how much time I’ll have to blog this week due to said present creation and packing for the long trip to Louisiana for the holidays. Today’s links, however, should make up for any lack of writing that goes on here. The first one anyway.

In other news: Hannukah started Friday at sundown. Me and my dog are the only ones I know that this applies to. My dog is supposed to have the same religion as me, right? Just like he has my last name. Only it’s the Mexican version because he is a Mexican. Sanchez Martinez.

Right, enough of that.

Saturday Night Live is a bigger budget version of Mad TV these days, but occasionally they come up with a fucking gem of a sketch.

This guy apparently had some epiphany while looking at a puddle of water. And thus was spit art created.

And lastly (I told you I didn’t have much time), an archive of an amazing weekly illustration battle calling itself Drawer Geeks.

I need to go buy glue and a box cutter and cookie mix. I’m gonna rock your Christmas minds.